She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
