It's Friday. Sex?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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