Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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