I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
