Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think I died a long time ago.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
