So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
