I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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