Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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