There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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