2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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