people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
