At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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