No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
