Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
