I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
