Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
