She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
