I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
