the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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