She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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