why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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