That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have aggressive nipples.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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