Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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