Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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(740): View more from Ohio

The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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(845): View more from New York

You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you

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(770): View more from Georgia

You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.

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(516): View more from New York

My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?

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(224): View more from Illinois

It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows

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(307): View more from Wyoming

One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I think I can handle that.

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