In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
