He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
