I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
