and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
