covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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