She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
