is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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