Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
