Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
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