Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
