You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My bed smells like the plague
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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