Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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