I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
