i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
