How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
