all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
