that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
