Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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