how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
