at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
