I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
