he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
