I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
