I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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