I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
did i just pee glitter
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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