The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
